Once in a While…

I’d like to be normal.  I know the thing people will say is “what is normal”, and I suppose that’s true – but to me, normal is being able to be more free.  Free in thought, free in spirit, free in feeling.  That may seem weird, crazy, strange, etc…but the truth is, many times when I feel completely alone, none of those things seem obtainable.

Some people may know me in life as bubbly, outgoing, adventurous, or whatever else.  It’s very seldom that I hole up inside myself when I’m with others, but it can happen.  I always fear that people will think less of me then.  I fear that no one will understand what it is, what it means, or how much energy it takes to put on a façade like that from time to time just to “fit in”.  More often than not, I feel as though I don’t belong, that I’m a third wheel, or people are just allowing me to be with them because it’s the nice thing to do.  At the same time though, many people do seem to go out of their way to make me a part of their life, and I want to return the favor, even if I feel like they might be doing it out of kindness, and not because they actually want me in their life.

The point of this post isn’t really to ask for sympathy, or to beg for help – but more of a post to maybe make people understand me a little bit better.  When I’m overly quiet, it might just be because I need a minute, or it may be that I really have no clue what to say in response to whatever just happened.  I also have struggles with simple things from time to time.  Being in a large group still really freaks me out, and I shock myself when I actually accomplish being with a group of more than about 6 people.  I shock myself when I go into a bar, or a restaurant that doesn’t have seating that’s closed off in some way, via a booth or separate small dining area. 

Sometimes, I need the space and distance from everything else in life.  I might need to sleep for 12 hours which, though it’s not normal, may make me feel better or a little bit closer to normal.  There are great days, good days, mediocre days, bad days, and really bad days.  Sometimes on mediocre days, something can be said to me that I’ll take the wrong way because of the wrong inflection in someone’s voice that will turn the day into a really bad day.

I guess sometimes, my life is a struggle and I just have to keep pushing through to find what I’m really looking for.  Maybe there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but until I find it, I’ll likely just keep struggling, and trying to walk through the mud.

Once in a while, I’d just like to know that it’ll all be ok.

What Happens in Forks part 4.2

“Yo I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want.  So tell me what you want, what you really really want.  I’ll tell you what I want, what I really really want.  So tell me what you want, what you really really want.  I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really really really really zigazig-ah.”

Do you get where I’m going yet?  No?  PARTY!!!  That’s what happened on Saturday night.  Forever in Forks provided this spectacular party as a fundraiser for Stand Up to Cancer.  Dinner, photo booths, live music, karaoke (while it lasted), an open bar, and quite a bit of dancing…and quite possibly “Cups” being played live?  It all happened on Saturday night! 

After our room of 5 got ready to go (and we all looked fantastic by the way), we headed off to the party.  It wasn’t in full swing quite yet when we got there, but many people had already come.  Despite not having enough seating (really, there was not at all), we managed to take up the little room that also housed the bar!  Before the dinner was served, I took a look around at the silent auction items.  I did not end up bidding on anything – as many of the items were either autographs I already owned, or things that I wasn’t too interested in.  I did, however, purchase some of the Essence nail polish that was available as they had the two colors I did not have at home!

Dinner soon followed – and it wasn’t horrible, but at the same time, if you are a picky eater in any way, it was hard to find something that was for you!  As a pesco-pollo vegetarian as well, the options were sort of slim (though when you put potatoes in front of me, I’m there!).  We all enjoyed a little something to eat, and a super girly drink…hey some of us were just finishing up with the hangover!  The special guests of the night were around for photos and autographs.  Special guests, you say, who could they have been?  Why they were Cider Sky Band (Northern Lights in BDpt1), IKO (Heart of Stone in BDpt2) and Erik Odom (Peter in BDpt2).  Karina and I went to Erik together and got photos in.  I mentioned to him that it was nice to finally meet him without crutches which actually made him then remember who I was!  We happened to end up in the back corner of the room (promiscuous?  Not really, but there were cupcakes!) and ran into the lovely Vee!  We actually had someone ask if we were waiting for a photo with her, so we deemed it appropriate to get one!  (Thanks again Vee…theme still stands, why are you not in my suitcase!)

After that small adventure, we all did some more meandering while Cider Sky was getting set up.  To be able to hear both Cider Sky and IKO play the songs that were featured in the movies respectively, was awesome!  You never truly realize just how much of an impact a song can make until you hear it live.  Such was the case with both (even having heard Cider Sky back at Camp Breaking Dawn pt 1!).  Photo booths were thrown into the mix of bands going, and there were so many great photos taken!  (Don’t worry, I’ll post the compilation at the end!).  After both bands had played their small sets, the DJ’s opened it up to Karaoke.  So, remember the beginning of this post?  Well, that’s what I sang.  I normally go for Pat Benatar or Dixie Chicks when I karaoke – but this party needed a little wake up!  I assure you, there is video out there (well, as long as she didn’t delete it…Vanessa…) but it has not been uploaded to youtube.  HOWEVER, a couple other lovely tokens have been!  What are they?  Video #1 (credit to Vanessa for this)– it may have just been dedicated to a certain someone by a certain Jasper…(thanks Josh, I won’t deny I’ve got a booty).  This had everyone cracking up!  It was great to see the Olympic Coven let loose…even if certain members (*cough*Christilynn*cough*) were slightly embarrassed!

When the karaoke portion started malfunctioning – we sort of lost entertainment!  Thank goodness for people like “Victoria” for pulling out Cups!  Well, there weren’t too many cups to actually be had, and some still had a little bit of water in them that were used.  But you can see Video #2 Here (credit to Lisa for this video!) – the DJ even threw it to the song when the equipment was back up and running!  Sadly (or I don’t know, maybe you’ve heard me sing before and liked it)…you can hear me in the video.  More photo-booths were done, green screen photos were had (and our girls Kathryn and Chang Mee shut it down since they got to go last!), and dancing by Staci happened!  Hannah and Hilly even showed up for a short time…and were a bit bombarded into doing photo booth with many of us! 

Upon everyone leaving, it was decided that we would head out to Mill Creek Bar with a few other people.  That was the first time for the weekend that I got to sit down and actually chat with Brianne!  We’d met Thursday in line for meeting Stephenie (had posted back and forth a couple of times on the SMD page but weren’t even facebook friends? What?!)…so it was great to get to talk with her!  Honestly girl, I’m so glad that we got that opportunity!  I know it’s not the best picture, but at least we got one!  After the one local that was a complete…I won’t say it…it was nice to hang out around the table with the girls.

When the night was over, and we headed back to the hotel, we all knew it was time to get to bed!  It had truly been a wonderful day.  Despite starting off with the hangover from hell (I honestly can’t say I’ve had a worse hangover!), the day just got better the more it went on.  Lying in bed made me start realizing though, that it was all coming to an end.  What would the next day hold…and how could we make more memories?  Also, why hadn’t it really rained yet?

P.S. Every time I see this hung up next to my bed, I smile like crazy…because the weekend was full of everything I ever dreamed of – and I made even more friends, which I never thought would happen since I tend to be so shy.

What Happens in Forks part 4.1

Let’s be completely honest…what could POSSIBLY top Stephenie Meyer herself showing up in Forks?  Nothing really – unless the entire movie cast showed up at once with that many fans there, I think.   Alas, it didn’t happen, but Saturday did bring quite a few fun things.  Despite having a huge hangover (I still blame Josh), having to sleep it off at least a little bit, and then dressing up for the day – it was fantastic.

The day truly started for me with dressing up in some fur, a long wig, and popping in a pair of contacts.  Trust me, do not get drunk the night before you decide to cosplay with contacts and a tight wig – it will not bode well for at least the first 3 hours of the day!  However, I trudged right on through and played the part the best I could.  We did miss a trip to the Hoh Rainforest, and for that, I’m sorry to my roommates.  I wish we could’ve gone and had fun (there’s always next year though).  One of the first thing on the agenda for Chang Mee and I was to eat.  Well, we all went, but it was nice to try and get some food in us since we didn’t attend the breakfast with the Olympic Coven.  After that, there was a little bit of vendor time, but it was quickly off to the costume competition hosted by the ladies of the Olympic Coven!  So, I was in fur, with a long wig…who could I have been? 

That’s right – I was Kate.  Okay I know this isn’t the best photo I could’ve used – but I’m still eternally grateful to the lovely girl next to me who was Bella because I got to use her as a prop.  “She’s a shield alright.  That shoulda knocked her on her ass.”  Thank you sweet person for not thinking me crazy for asking to use you as a prop!  No, I didn’t win…another “Kate” did because she hand made her dress.  I’m not to that stage of costuming yet (I still should have said I killed something and made the vest myself though!) 

Directly after this (and it had actually been happening while the costume competition was happening), there was arm wrestling with Emmett.  Now, how could a “cousin” pass this up?  Answer: no way would I!  I still hold claim that Emmett probably let me win, but 1) I am nowhere near that strong in my upper arms and 2) I still claim that he had more leverage by taking up far more of the table!  I’ve got long arms and my arm was quite close to me the entire time!  As you can see, Carlisle also made sure no cheating occurred, so I couldn’t use my shocking to help in any way.

We hit the ground running after we arm wrestled and went around to the vendor area as well as a couple of shops.  I managed to get a bit at the first place we stopped: Native to Twilight.  I found a pair of pajama pants and a travel coffee mug that match (they both say Bite Me), a Forks High hoodie, and a few other small random odds and ends.  After that, we went over to the vendor tables.  Low and behold, I found the Esme Barbie!  If you knew how long I’ve been looking, and how many eBay bids I’ve lost…this was a treasure!  Kathryn introduced us all to fry bread as well, and as I was starting to feel much better, I got my very own.  Even sharing the thing, I couldn’t finish it!  It was absolutely delicious though!  We headed off to Leppell’s from there, where Kathryn and I got a couple of scrapbook pages to contribute to “Project Thank You”.  (You didn’t know about this?  You want to contribute still?  Go HERE.)

We headed back to the hotel room to drop off our goodies, but knew we couldn’t stay too long since we wanted to do the group photo with the Olympic Coven!  That happened at Forks High School, Home of the Spartans!  Once the group photos were done, many of us got photos with the couples.  It was really fun to do that as Kate – getting pictures with the cousins and all.  I also got to speak quickly with “Victoria” about just how hot it gets wearing fur when Forks decides to be all sunny and nice!  It certainly was a nice day on Saturday!  I even gave up the “Kate smirk” for a few photos – this happens to be one of the best.  Thank you Esme and Carlisle (this was totally one of my favorite photos of the weekend).

Following all photo ops, it was coming close to 5pm, and since I’d promised Hannah and Hilly I’d see them while in costume – Karina and I headed back down to Leppell’s to see them before they left.  I don’t know how many photos I have now with them, but I think there have to be at least 5 different cosplays for me!  I was thrilled to see them again (even with seeing them the day before) and get what would definitely be…one last photo in costume with them!  Thank you ladies, I truly appreciate it!

Once all was said and done, it was time to head back to the room and get ready for the party of a lifetime…don’t worry you crazy followers…part 4.2 will be up tomorrow!

What Happens in Forks part 3

Days 1 and 2 have happened…and after having a mini-SMD reunion yesterday, I was actually asked when my next post would be.  Well, here it is!  Day 3 of Forks!

Friday the 13th – if you’re superstitious, you’d probably think this day would’ve been horrible or something.  It was QUITE the opposite of horrible!  In fact, Bella’s birthday is September 13, and the town of Forks was quite abuzz with a day of SMD already happening.  The day began with our room heading down to get breakfast as part of our Forever in Forks package.  We were also supposed to have Zumba, hosted by our very own Kat, but unfortunately, the speakers never came. (Don’t worry, we still Zumba’d in the room!)  Breakfast was pretty chill, and we got to sit around chatting with some, and seeing others we’d talked to on Facebook but had yet to meet in Forks! After this was the option of going to Bella’s Birthday Breakfast with the Olympic Coven, but we opted out due to already having had breakfast as well as for me, needing to get into costume for the day.  Now here’s a quick interjection – there was some speculation from a few that people who weren’t part of the Olympic Coven cast shouldn’t dress up.  Some defended against that notion – and honestly, this was a way for some of us to get to cosplay in a place that brought so many together!  As we were sitting in the room, or finishing getting ready, I received a message via Facebook from Heather (thanks again for sending us a heads up!).  What was that message?  Verbatim “Where are u?! Someone big Is here”.  Of course, there I am going “someone big…who?”  I announced it to our room, and about a minute later, I get the message it’s Stephenie Meyer herself!

Internal instincts kind of took over when I read that to our room.  What instincts? Well actually, we all questioned it.  I think we all had the same idea of “yea right, Friday the 13th, ha ha, very funny.”  So until I got another message a couple minutes later confirming that many had seen her, we were suspicious.  After getting the official “she’s at the Chamber of Commerce right now!” we all kind of hauled butt out of our room and down to the Chamber!  Once we arrived there, we knew it was absolutely, without a doubt, true due to the sheer number of cars parked in the lot and on the side of the road.  Now, because she was taking time with people – photo ops and autographs, plus chatting, it sort of got to us that we might not end up seeing her!  Was this going to be LA all over again (Karina and Vanessa were my two that questioned it with me).  We were told she’d have to get going because she and her friends had lunch plans.  I won’t lie, at this point I was just thinking “great, another missed opportunity, are you kidding me?”  I realize I’ve been extremely fortunate in the number of times I’ve met her, but at the same time, the thought that we were in FORKS with the author was surreal and would probably never happen again!  Luck was definitely on our side though!  When Stephenie came out of the Chamber, they told us she would be coming down the line of people signing autographs.  Of course, then there’s me who’s constantly with the thought “have the camera/phone ready and snap a picture!” so I definitely did.  In full Victoria garb, contacts and all, I got a picture with Stephenie! 

Yes…this happened!  Holy crow!  I’m still grinning like a fool over it all!  In our haste, none of us actually thought “bring something for her to sign!” so Karina kind of has something absolutely awesome…her Hillywood shirt is signed!  Once she had passed us, Karina looked slightly dejected (sorry girl but you did) and it was because she hadn’t gotten a photo with Stephenie.  Lucky for her, I’m a pushy person (sometimes) and said that we could simply wander down to the end of the line and get her a photo.  At first I got a solid “no” from her, but after the persuasion of “when is this going to happen again?” I got her to agree and we headed to the end!  A few others had the same idea since it wasn’t quite as crowded down that way, and Stephenie, being absolutely amazing, took pictures with as many as she could!  Actually, it was probably about 90% of the people that showed up!  Karina finally got her photo!  I have proof!  Aren’t you glad I’m pushy?

Honestly, at that point it really was “did that just happen?  Oh my gosh, that happened.” and we were all thrown for a bit of a loop!  I think with all of us in a haze, we didn’t know what to do next!  We did end up going about half way to La Push (stopping at the Treaty line) to get some photos, and were told that Stephenie would be at the Police Station soon.  We chanced it and headed back, getting some great pictures while out and about!  Though we did see Stephenie there as well, we didn’t stick around since it was her chance to see some of the towns people and also attend what I believe was the “city meeting”.

After that, we headed to Sully’s for lunch as well as the Hillywood meet and greet.  I don’t know how many times I’ve seen the girls now, along with their mom (who I adore!), but honestly, I was excited to get to see them again!  Now, having been to so many conventions with them as the hosts, I have a stupid amount of photos with them, and many in cosplay creations.  Even though I’ve done Victoria around them before, it was just as exciting to get a photo now as it was the first time it happened! Also, being told “we missed you” by the girls was great.  The first time I met them was back in 2009, so it’s been quite the run of events!

We decided to head back to the room after this all happened so we could relax/change/take a breather – and then we’d head on down to La Push for the bonfire.  I decided to change at that point because I’d surely had enough of those red contacts.  Not having worn contacts at all in over a year, they were absolutely dreadful!  Once we headed down to the beach (and took a few photos along the way), we found out Stephenie was there too!  Wait, so Stephenie Meyer, at a bonfire, with a bunch of Twilight fans?  Yes, it happened!  I’m not kidding!  There were some really great photo ops with the Olympic Coven, as well as with fans.  I was definitely fortunate that day…a photo in costume, and a photo out of costume?  ETERNALLY grateful!  I can’t even find the right words to describe it!  Our group also took the opportunity of being at the beach to explore a little, climbing around on the driftwood and rocks, taking pictures (like the one used in my background!) and just having fun.  After pictures and exploring, we sat around the campfire with Ms Meyer!  I still have times where I don’t believe it happened until I see a photo!  S’mores…with an author that gave me my life back through her words and the shared mutual love for those words…on First Beach?  Crazy right?

The night dwindled down, and started getting dark, so we all decided to head back to Forks.  We’d driven separate cars, and Karina and I knew we wanted to go see Hillywood at the Roundhouse.  They were playing all of their parodies and doing a Q&A, and honestly, it may well be the last one I’ll get to attend!  When we arrived, Twilight was just finishing up, and they were ready to play New Moon (which, low and behold, I’m in as an extra!).  They played all the parodies back to back (and I now happen to know at least one person aside from the girls, in each parody.)  They followed the videos up with a Q&A, and then taught us the “Twilight Style” dance.  Talk about something amazing – being there for one of the first times they taught the “Hot and Cold” dance, and then being there for likely the last time they’ll teach “Twilight Style” to a small crowd?  I can’t put into words how awesome that was!

After a day of absolutely phenomenal happenings, we were invited to another small bonfire at what’s been dubbed “Hotel Whitney”.  Let’s just say, it was an extremely fun night…many laughs were had…and some dancing might have occurred.  How do you top a day like that?

What Happens in Forks part 2

You may remember that I did a part 1 post of What Happens in Forks just a few days ago.  Well, welcome to part 2!  If you’re still with me, cool.  If not, I suppose that’s okay.  I think I’m doing this more as a cathartic exercise of how much I miss people (and this makes me miss them a little less), and a way to remember it all!

Stephenie Meyer Day really started on Thursday this year, which happened to be September 12.  What happened?  Where did events take place?  Up first on our agenda was getting breakfast!  I know, that’s not really all that interesting, but we happened to head over to the Forks Coffee Shop – and let me just say, the omelet I had was absolutely delicious and I couldn’t finish it because it was so big!  After quite a filling breakfast, Kathryn (who got to play tour guide since she’d been before), took us around to a few of the local sites – which included the Cullen House, the Swan House, Leppell’s, and the Chamber of Commerce (we were all over the place!).  While at Leppell’s, we happened upon the lovely Mini Alice – Holly, as well as her mum! (Yep, I said mum).  We had seen the first welcome sign the day before coming into town, but the awesome sign is also down by the Chamber of Commerce, where, not only is it a little safer to pose by and park by, but a little taller so you don’t end up covering part of the sign.  Our group knew that the Olympic Coven meet and greet would be happening soon enough, so we headed back to our hotel – where I changed thanks to a mishap with some lotion at Leppell’s.

Come meet and greet time, I was armed with my remaining gift bags that hadn’t been given out the night before (for cast members who hadn’t arrived yet), my camera, and the thought of something mischievous that had to happen when it came time for a bit of Jasper time.  One of the first things that happened upon going into Mill Creek Bar & Grill (where the meet and greet was held), was receiving a big bear hug from Emmett, aka Travis.  Was I shocked?  Maybe just a little…but it was a great hug so I’ll take being shocked!  In that time, I also got to say my hello to the caramel apple queen (and amazing artist) Tiffany who was playing Rosalie.  (Team Tiffalie!)  After ordering a round at the bar (hey, it’s 5 o’clock somewhere), our group stayed near the bar while the cast started going around and greeting all that came out to see them.  After our time with Victoria and James (aka Katie and, yes his real name is James), we began seeing that most of the cast was in the other section of the bar.  Fortunately, Edward and Bella (Alan and Christilynn) also came into our section so we (I suppose I should mention our third group member…Chang Mee!) got some photos, and then decided to move out to the other section so we could meet the other cast members.  So what is this mischievous little ploy I’m talking about when it comes to Jasper?  Well, as some of you may be aware, the first time I met Jasper (or Josh), he was actually portraying Edward.  There happened to be this moment at the convention where I said “this is going to sound weird, but I totally want to do a reverse spider monkey picture with you”.  Low and behold, it happened, and when I’d originally found out Josh would be here as someone else, the first thought that came to mind was “I have to do the picture when he’s Jasper too!”  So here it is:

It happened.  There’s the proof!  There was also his lovely wife for the weekend Alice (better known as Vee).  I mentioned her in my last blog, and put a photo up, but again I’m saying, why are you not in my suitcase? (I think that should be the theme of these posts!).  There was also meeting Carlisle and Esme (Scott and Elle), and of course the lovely and adorable Nessie and that mutt Jacob (Samantha and Subha). I could seriously go on and on with how fantastic it was doing the meet and greet and spending a little time with each of the people there, even non-cast members, but I’ll just say – awesome! Fantastic! Stupendous!  And huge thanks Staci!

In between this and the prom, we could’ve gone to dinner with the OC, but ended up not going.  Why, you may ask?  Well, wanting to look fantastic for prom ourselves, and also then needing to go do some hair maintenance on someone *coughs Katie*, there was going to be little time left in between to get much done.  I told my roommates they could go if they wanted, because I knew my hair would take FOREVER (darn you extensions and wanting to look beautiful!), but they also stayed in the room and began getting ready.  In the meantime, our new roommates to be were heading to Forks from Seattle (Squee Karina and Nessa would be there soon!).  Between texting them, getting ready, and then going to get Katie ready with my awesome (and totally somehow magical) skills (and also ending up helping Christilynn with her hair – way to go Chang Mee!), we found ourselves with little time by the time we made it back to our hotel before the prom would start.  When we found out that our new roomies were relatively close to Forks, we ended up waiting for them, and convincing them to come to prom with us!

Kathryn was definitely the hit of the prom with her amazing dress!  We all looked beautiful, and sparkled like no other!  Prom was a blast.  Even though we all questioned some of the music that was played, we all hit the floor (or the yard as the case was) and boogied the entire night!  There were even a couple of times that I was dragged out to the center by Jasper, linked arms with Emmett, and found out Rosalie isn’t a dancer.  The night at the dance ended on getting photos with the cast (I’m really hoping the one our official photographer took for the weekend turned out better than my horrible cell phone pic), some hugs, and then a short walk back to the hotel.

The new roomies were tired, and frankly after a full day, so were the three of us that had spent a day going on adventures (which did in fact include climbing a tree, and possibly me moving a log!).  We headed to bed after that in the hopes of even more amazing adventures for the next day, and as a spoiler – we were not disappointed…at all!

What Happens in Forks part 1

A few weeks ago, I was fortunate enough to get to travel to the small town of Forks, WA for the first time.  To many, it may not seem like much…but to a Twilight fan, it’s the mecca of all things amazing.  Why did I choose to go when I did?  Hello, for Stephenie Meyer Day of course!  Not only had this been something I’d been dreaming of, but the opportunity sort of fell into my lap thanks to a book tour for “The Host”.  Fast forward a few months, a ton of planning done by the amazing Kathryn, and a four hour flight to Seattle…and it all became a reality! (Ok, so it also took a 4 hour drive to Forks, by way a pit stop in Port Angeles for some groceries, and maybe getting pulled over about ten miles from Forks…)

Once we hit Forks (I should mention at this point I had two of my roommates in the car who I adore!), it really sunk in.  I was in Forks.  FORKS! Home of the Spartans!  Wait, for real?  Yes for real! I even made a quick Instagram video! We truly hit the ground running the moment we got there.  A quick hotel check in, basically throwing our stuff in the room, and hopping back in the car…we headed out to La Push!  It’s…La Push!  Now here’s something for you, if you get the opportunity to do what we were headed to, do it.  What is IT you ask?  A drum circle!  I knew that I would not only be sharing this experience with half of my roommates, but also some familiar faces that I had not seen in either close to or just over a year.  Talk about an emotional, enlightening, and all around incredible experience!  I know I’m more emotional when I’m tired, but truly, something really spoke to me at the circle.  I still can’t quite grasp what it was, but something did.

After the drum circle, a small group of us headed out to the Mill Creek Bar and Grill.  I got to spend some time with my familiar faces Victoria and Josh, and meet new faces, including a few Olympic Coven members.  There, I got to give out a few of the gifts I brought with me (it’s just my thing, it’s quirky, I know).  In that moment of gift giving, and a ton of glitter being shed, I knew that I really belonged.  It’s another feeling and moment I can’t put into words that makes sense, but just roll with me on this!

Ok so, why the picture right here?  Well, with all the glitter that went around on the first night – this adorable pixie vampire decided to put some on her face!  That happened right before we all left, and I knew then, that my weekend would be full of fun, fiction, who would become like family to me, and a ton of sparkles!  The adorable little pixie to the left is none other than Miss Viktoria who was Alice for the weekend.  At this point I feel the need to reiterate something: Vee, why are you not in my suitcase?!

When we got back to the hotel that night, I truly had to pinch myself.  Even though I was extremely exhausted (at this point up for about 40 hours, I think, or close), my emotions were on high.  I got nice and comfortable for the night, tucked myself in, had a smile on my face, and knew the next day would bring the true start of an epic adventure. 

Don’t You Mourn the Sun

Did you ever think that maybe, you can learn a little something about someone by what music they listen to?  You can.  I know this is a bit silly, and my artists are a little limited at the moment while I’m still uploading music to my computer, but see what you might be able to learn through this:

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?

Jar of Hearts (I’m a jumble of emotions, scars and bruises.  Try to break through the barrier)

2. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?

Careful Hands (hold me in careful hands for sure)

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?

I Choose You (I’m detecting confidence is a good attribute)

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?

Drunk (but not in the alcoholic sense)

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?

If You Love Me Let Me Go (To be more independent?)

6. WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?

I Was Broken (was…WAS.  But it’s over now)

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

I Belong To You (you are my muse…)

8. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?

Accidental Light (I think this actually goes with what my parents feel…)

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

For the Love of a Daughter (Not exactly the same meaning but…adoption is a powerful thing)

10. WHAT IS 2 + 2?

I Don’t Believe You

11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

Now That I’ve Found You (ok I love my friends in a different way…though…in a sense this describes how much they mean to me)

12. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

January White (Truth)

13. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

Made in the USA (wait…wasn’t I already?)

14. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Turning Page (uh…*blushes*)

15. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?

Eclipse: All Yours (Yea I’d do it)

16. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

Come Back Down

17. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?

The Low Road (is that supposed to mean something important?)

18. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?

No Sound but the Wind

19. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?

Tethered (you’ll never know!)

20. WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?

Arms (Very true…)

21. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

Sober (Oh lawd)

22. WHAT WILL YOUR CHILD'S FIRST WORDS BE?

Graduation (no. No no no no no no)

23. WHAT DO YOU SAY WHEN YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR?

Really Don’t Care (I’m totally ok with that)

24. WHAT DID YOU SAY IN YOUR SLEEP LAST NIGHT?

Sad Song (Sort of…)

25. WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?

Don’t You Mourn the Sun